Use

Hey. I'm a little candle.

Once I’ve cunningly infiltrated your home (I'm sure it's lovely by the way), we need to talk about how you use me.

Before we get started

Trim my wick to around 5mm. It might sting a little, but it'll help me burn evenly. Then, put me on a stable surface that isn't going to mark when I get hot.

By the way, I don’t like draughts (obvs) or direct sunlight, so make sure I’m in just the right spot. 

Let's get going

Not a lot of people know this, but candles have good memories. I’ll remember the first time you use me and I’ll burn the same way the next time. When you first light me, let me burn to the edge of the glass and create a pool of wax. But don’t let me burn for longer than four hours. That way I’ll burn evenly and smell great the next time you use me.

Before you re-light my fire, trim my wick again. And when our time together is coming to an end, stop burning me with 5mm of wax left in the glass. 

Remember, safety first

Before you leave the room, make sure I'm completely out and don't touch me until I've cooled down. Never, never, never leave me alone when I’m lit and always keep me away from children, pets and anything flammable. And Chicago Bears fans. 

Is it really over?

Why not let me stick around? Once I'm done, you can use me for lots of other important things like:

• pressing against the wall to listen to your neighbours arguing;
• drowning your sorrows after another confusing national announcement from that blonde guy;
• Or wearing as a tiny hat on your next date. Formal hats are making a comeback.

Or you can recycle me. After all, I'm made of glass.